I Heard You Screaming
by julzaibatsu
Summary: "Soon, she was sure of it; everyone would die. Everyone would kill each other." - Elincia suffers her first nightmare in the castle walls. Post FE9 fic.


**Title: I Heard You Screaming**  
**Series:** Post FE9, pre FE10  
**Character/pairing:** Lucia/Elincia  
**Rating:** PG13+  
**Word Count:** 3, 105  
**A/N:** I always wanted to write Lucia comforting Elincia after her very first nightmare. This was inspired by rosage's canon of Elincia not having any nightmares until post FE9 after the war in the castle, because she doesn't have anything to be afraid of until then. I also had inspiration from the nightmare come from the queenofcrimea Tumblr blog in response to a question about Elincia's favourite Christmas holiday.

* * *

_She was simply enjoying herself. She was here, sitting out in the snow, making a snowman with her parents. Her parents__, who only came to visit her every festive season of the spirit ghost Ferir. It was that time of year when families were meant to spend time together, to be with each other._

_Elincia made sure to always behave well. She stopped fights between Lucia and Geoffrey when one sibling annoyed the other. She didn't like fights anyway; they hurt people and it hurt to see her dear friends fight and argue, no matter how silly or serious the topic was. She always made sure to clean, to help the servants with planning, to succeed in her studies at Noble Custom, Religion__ and History._

_Elincia knew that if she behaved well, she would be rewarded – and she usually was. __Her parents would come and smile widely, telling her how pleased they were and how much they missed her, just like they were doing now._

_Her father was listening to her talk about her adventures with Lucia and Geoffrey and all the things she had learned from her studies. What things she'd tried and the fun she'd had. He'd listen with the most loving smile and she would see him sneak a sparkling glance at her mother, who smiled softly and serenely. _

_Soon enough, the snowman was complete__. Yet another accomplishment she had made; doing something with her parents, whom she only got to see once a year. She beamed, standing tall and proud of her work. Her parents mirrored her smile. Their little girl growing up, beautiful, intelligent…_

_But all of a sudden, her ears were filled with the quick swoosh of a blade in thin air. It turned into a horrible squelch when it met with tender flesh. Her eyes were obscured by a flash of red, her lips greeted with the filthy, metallic taste of blood__. Suddenly, she really did find herself tall and grown up, just as she was now._

_There were her parents, lying dead on the ground, without life, without comfort to give her. A moment ago, she had been building a snowman with them and had received their adoration.__ In an instant, they lay before her with white faces, their eyes dull and cold in looking at her. The blood from their wounds that sank into the white snow only made the sight of them all the more petrifying._

_Elincia let out a short scream, stumbling back, her eyes wide with terror. Rowdy voices, anguished cries, the sound of steel cold weapons cutting through flesh reached her ears.__ She became alert of the battlefield before her, the soldiers falling on the ground. The next thing she realised was the royal blade Amiti in her hands, smeared with blood, her hands drenched in the impure and uncomforting warm liquid. No, warm was an understatement; it felt like fire with how frozen rock cold her fingers and hands were from the cold air._

_White armoured soldiers fell to black; black armoured soldiers fell to white. The dark, coagulated blood that gushed out from them made itself shown to her eyes, even in the blue hue of the night. It never stopped. Soon, she was sure of it; everyone would die. Everyone would kill each other._

_Elincia screamed for it to stop. She screamed and screamed, but her voice was not heard among the pained cries of the soldiers dying. They never ceased. The horrendous sounds swept into her head, tearing at her sanity hard enough for her life to dribble from her ears. Elincia shrieked, clutching her head from the pain which caused her to collapse and look down below. That's when she noticed several dead corpses on the ground before her__ with open sword wounds. Elincia looked at the blade on the ground, then back to the corpses. The reality hit Elincia hard._

_She had done this…_

"_You weakling…" a deep throated voice growled behind her. Elincia snapped her head around and stumbled back when she saw her tormentor, King Ashnard of Daein stand before her, his brow furrowed in a look of menacing anger. His sharp bared teeth bore down like an animal at Elincia, who cowered meekly when the shadow of his large form shrouded her over._

"_You don't belong here. You are of the weak. As were your parents," he expressed with disgust, "Look at the way you handle killing my soldiers. They never deserved to die to someone flimsy like you. Your existence is revolting. You have no place in this world."_

_Her heart felt like it was in a glass. A glass that was struck with each and every sentence Ashnard spoke. It was thin, delicate and it cracked. It cracked and allowed for the King of Daein to puncture the young heart contained inside of it mercilessly._

"_Because your parents didn't know better, because they were so weak-willed, they paid the ultimate consequence. They lost their country, their kingdom and their lives. You lost your peace and your innocence and you can't even handle that in itself, you pathetic little girl. You weren't prepared to lose anything, were you? __You're still not prepared to lose anything now that you stand in the shoes of your parents." she felt Ashnard's hot breath on her ear and she felt nauseated. She could taste the bile that formed in her throat; the need to vomit was compelling._

"_I bet you couldn't even sacrifice a single life for your country. You'd turn and run away with your tail behind your legs. You'll disappoint and fail your parents because you didn't have the gall to give a single life to keep your throne. You'll never be able to protect your people without sacrificing some. Look at you, trembling and shaking, screaming for the fighting to stop and wishing for no more death. Look at how it's not stopping, how hopeless your efforts are."_

_She could not scream. She could not run. She could not move. She was too numb from her trembling, the searing pain in__ her ears and the sight of the battle before her. But that numbness disappeared in an instant with the last words Ashnard whispered, a twisted grin forming on his face._

"_The fighting…will never, ever, stop, my dear."_

_Her body was set aflame by the reality of the words. All numbness disappeared as the excruciating reality of her life and situation was realised. _

_The burning of her lungs forced out Elincia's long suppressed scream.  
_

* * *

Elincia bolted up in her bed, screaming. Her eyes twitched as they welled up with tears. Her arms ached and shook uncontrollably. Her bed sheets were crumpled and messed up everywhere. Beads of sweat dripped down her face and it was only the candlelight that alerted her to the surroundings of what used to be her parent's bedroom. But the bedroom was anything but a comfort; no, it only terrified Elincia even more.

She jumped right out of the bed, running away from it. She wanted to get out of this room; it felt claustrophobic to her very being. It constricted her in fear, but she knew she couldn't get out. She could never get out of this room; it was her home. It was where she was meant to stay for the rest of her life. So instead, Elincia resorted to getting away from the bed by huddling in the furthest right corner of the room. The bed terrified her. It held the presence of her long lost parents and that unnerved her to no end.

Elincia brought her knees up towards her chest. She rocked herself back and forth, tears welling up in her eyes, her body hot and sticky with sweat. She buried her head, tears dripping down her cheeks and the moss of green hair falling in front of her face. Her body continuously trembled from tingling sensations felt in her arms and legs. Her stomach had the same nauseated feel from her nightmare; all the pain and emotions she felt from it really were a reality. In her lost sanity, she lifted her fingers to check if her ears were bleeding. They were not, but it acted as no relief. It was just another fear.

Elincia sobbed quietly, not wishing to wake up the people who shared the floor with her. She'd likely disturbed one or two occupants already with the scream. She cursed herself, guilt wrecking her heart. Like the people deserved to be burdened by her woes or frightened at the sight of her now. That was improper of her as the queen. She was meant to be strong; in which Elincia felt no strength within her at all.

She'd never had a nightmare in her life. She had lived one, but she'd never dreamed one and she never wanted to either. When she travelled with Ike and the Greil Mercenaries in that year, she only dreamed of the best times of her life. She dreamed of when she would reunite with Lucia and Geoffrey again. When she was with her parents and when Crimea had prospered because back then, the truth of what was to be wasn't known to her.

She did not think about what it meant to become a queen, nor that she would even become one. Well, she knew there was going to be fighting back for her country. But she didn't know she'd be among the fighting and would kill people for the first time in her life. The prospect of ruling an entire kingdom hadn't been present until the final days of the Mad King's War.

It was only now, after the war and with it being a week since her coronation, did she suffer her first nightmare. It rendered her to a very similar feeling to when she witnessed her parent's death. Her first nightmare…and was there going to be more? As she thought this, she hugged the cold hard wall, curling tighter into a ball.

How could she get away from possible future nightmares? She never asked for them! Nor did she ask for this! She never asked for any of this! She never wanted to be queen! She never wanted to spill blood to save her country and nor wanted to now. She especially didn't want to sacrifice anything for it!

A knock on her door made Elincia squeak; jumping from her spot. She peeked out from her eye, terrified at the thought of an angry occupant coming to berate her for waking them up. But it was to her relief she saw a familiar presence slip into the room. An open blue eye peeked back at her as a very concerned Lucia entered, wearing her sleeveless white nightgown. She quickly locked the door behind her, hustling over to the frightened Queen of Crimea.

"I heard you screaming," she spoke quietly. One hand rested on her shoulder and the other grasped her hand, "What happened…?"

Elincia didn't speak. She just stared at her tear stricken, her bottom lip quivering from holding in the upsetting feeling repressed in her stomach. Even with Lucia before her, she found herself trapped in fear. She felt like nothing could free her from it…and rather because nothing could. Not from being a queen and not from her life now.

"Come here…" Lucia leaned forward and snaked her arms around her, pulling her close. Elincia tried to move her arms to return the embrace, but they ached too much to move. Realising this, she resorted to sobbing in her shoulder, scared and frustrated. Lucia continuously hushed her, her hold becoming tighter. She stroked her hair in a gentle rhythm, which only calmed her slightly.

Whenever she got scared, if her parents or Uncle Renning weren't there, Lucia was. Elincia could remember a time when she was afraid of caterpillars. Lucia would have to bring her aside to still her nerves. It was actually her who helped her overcome her fear of them. Lucia had shown how harmless they were and that they were gentle, furry and even cute.

They were ticklish too, as she found out when she laughed at the touch of their tiny legs. Then, Lucia showed how they became beautiful butterflies from being so small and wrapped up in a cocoon. She would also have to comfort her whenever a fight had occurred; for Elincia abhorred fighting, be it literal or physical. Now, her uncle and mother really weren't here and never would be.

But Lucia still was_…_

As if in reply to that thought, her arms stopped aching. Elincia looked down to see they had also stopped trembling uncontrollably and had reduced to only the slightest tremble. But that was only her arms; her entire being still shook like a leaf in the wind. She threw her arms around Lucia in a tight hug, her sobs turning into cries. Once more, Lucia began steadying her by humming in her ear. Unlike the hot breath she'd felt in her nightmare from Ashnard; Lucia's was of warmth and acted as a solace to her numbing fear. It made her cries become progressively quieter as her soft tender voice spoke to her.

"It's all right…I'm here. I'm right here. I'll always be here…"she soothed. Elincia went quiet, not wanting to interrupt her. She milked in her comfort and presence; fear beginning to gradually subside. It appeared she'd thought irrationally before, thinking Lucia couldn't do anything to free her. But then again, emotions such as fear and selfishness tended to make people become unreasonable.

"I-I'm so stupid…" she whimpered when she realised how silly she'd acted.

"No you're not…" Lucia replied, "You just had your first nightmare. You've every right to be afraid."

"But I thought so stu-"

"Ssssh. You're not stupid. You can be a little silly at times, yes, but you're not stupid and you're neither of those things now…" Lucia paused for a moment and then gently pulled away. Elincia was met with a sad gaze from her eyes.

"That nightmare must have been terrifying…" Elincia nodded in response, biting her lip and letting out a whimper.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked. Elincia shook her head immediately. That was the last thing she wanted to do. To recount the memory of that nightmare after she'd finally calmed down…

"Well maybe not now…but you'll have to tell me some time. It's not good to keep nightmares locked up inside of you…" Lucia told her before wrapping an arm around.

"Come on, let's get you back-"

"No…" Elincia shook her head, "I…I can't I…"

"Because of your parents, right…?" Elincia nodded, shifting uncomfortably.

Lucia frowned at her.

"You do realise you will have to get used to-"

"I can't! I…I can't…I-I can 't…I never will, I…" Elincia bowed her head in dismay, her hands clenched and shaking. She then felt fingers entwine with her own, Lucia squeezing her hand.

"Then I'll help you. We'll face it together…okay? Just like every other time." Lucia whispered in her ear, lightly kissing her right temple.

Elincia could've protested for many reasons, but her heart trampled over her mind and rejected them all. Just this once, she wouldn't let them have her way with her or listen to what they'd have to say. She was stressed. She was tense. She was frightened and the only thing able to still all of those was Lucia. So she let herself get brought up by Lucia and walk by her side towards the bed.

She looked downcast as Lucia sat her on the bed.

"What's wrong…" Lucia frowned, her arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

"…I never became a butterfly, did I Lucia…"

Lucia remained quiet, a look of solemnity on her face. To Elincia, it only confirmed this. It was true. The war had taken all her innocence away, for she had killed. She remembered the first life she took in that war. She had saved Geoffrey's life, yes, but it still left her miserably shaken nonetheless…

"…no. Because you're still a caterpillar."

Elincia looked up to Lucia and showed her disbelief.

"How…? How could I still be a caterpillar? I've killed Lucia! I…I'm a killer…" Elincia looked downcast just as quickly as she'd looked up. But Lucia did not frown. Instead, she softly smiled, tilting her head back up again to meet her eyes.

"The caterpillar always has trouble crawling up when it starts. It starts out furry, shy and afraid of things often. It's slow in how it crawls and moves. It waits for a long time for things to be just right for it…" in her pause, she gently caressed her cheek before continuing.

"Then, it starts to grow. It goes through a process in its growth too. It deals with what tries to prevent it from moving on. It doesn't come without pain…but it doesn't stop. It keeps growing. It persists in becoming what it wants to be and eventually, it does. It bursts out and it becomes the butterfly it wants to be."

Elincia remained silent. She couldn't find words to say for she didn't have thoughts to voice them. She was too mesmerised in Lucia's calm azure eyes. They reminded her of the shallow streams she, Geoffrey and Lucia splashed each other in when they were little. The water flowed smoothly, yet sped down the stream so fast. They would throw rocks in and would take them with it, not stopping.

"You're still new to this. It's still very early days. Don't judge yourself based on having a nightmare. You're only human. You fight to live…so do butterflies. So does everyone. You're still growing. Don't you worry now…" Lucia took her hand into hers, grasping it.

"…I hope that's true." Elincia's voice broke as tears welled up in her eyes once more.

"It will be. You watch yourself…you're going to become a wonderful queen. No one knows how lucky they are to have you yet. But they will. They definitely will…" and as she responded, Lucia slowly leaned in and pressed her lips to hers.

The chances she got to kiss her had been fair and few in the time they'd been together, even before all of this. But now that she had one, she didn't waste it. She responded to the message conveyed eagerly, feeling the tenderness Lucia expressed towards her in the kiss. It didn't matter her lips were cold as ice; the shiver they sent was a greater comfort than a shiver sent from uncertainty.

They broke apart slowly after the moment of intimacy shared between them.

"Listen to me," Lucia said, running her fingers through silken green hair, "Whenever you've had a nightmare, or are scared at night…you come to me. You come and wake me up next door and I'll look after you…okay?"

Elincia nodded in response. Lucia smiled.

"It's been a long night now. Come on, let's lie down and rest."

Elincia lay down on her side before Lucia did, who pulled the covers over them both. She felt those strong arms wrap around her from behind in a protective manner, securing her tight. It made Elincia feel very safe. Lucia nestled her head to hers, letting out a deep sigh that stirred her hair before closing her eyes.

"Lucia…"

"Mmm?" she hummed from behind her.

The smallest smile formed on Elincia's lips.

"Thank you…"

Lucia gave her a quick squeeze with her arms.

"Anything for you. Sleep easy, Elincia…"

* * *

**Okay, do I need to give you the rundown on respecting and accepting people for what they ship again like in every other L&E fan fic I've wrote?...Yeah, I probably do. Spare yourself the trouble of provoking me; because I'm telling you now, there will be no winner here. We'll both just make fools of ourselves fighting over ships and insulting each other. We all hate feeling stressed, hurt, frustrated, angry and I hate fighting anyway. Besides, just go see my profile and that will tell you everything you need to know about me.  
**

**For those of you who enjoyed this though; by all means, feel free to send me feedback :) there's always room for improvement for me.**

**Regards,**  
_archsagejulz  
_**Authoress**


End file.
